Conflict does not stem from a difference of opinion.
Here’s what I’m getting at: if you and I are friends, this fact will be unaffected if you disagree with my opinions.
I want to hear your thoughts, friends. Talk to me, call me, email me, whatever. Why else is a gal to write, if not for conversation fodder? That’s half a joke because there are many other reasons I write, not the least of which is to share myself with you. But I am not interested embarking on some rambling, and never-ending diatribe simply to hear the sound of my own voice (…or my own clicks of the keyboard?).
You might then ask: “Interesting. So then why is it that you blog rather than simply talking to people, since that is exactly the function your writing serves?”
Well, many reasons. But the reason I don’t simply start these conversations myself is because I have no desire to stuff fistfuls of my opinionated and unsolicited values down anyone’s throat. I have an unfortunate amount of life experience to attest to the fact that, gee, people just don’t really like that much.
On a blog, you, the reader, are in control. If you don’t like what I write, you’re free to angrily confront me, or ask me more questions, or conclude that I am a narcissistic imbecile, vow to never speak to me again and then with a simple click of the mouse, *POOF!* I disappear from your life forever.
I like that.
If you want to talk to me about my blog, or my life, or my opinions or whatever, please just say so. I promise you I do not have a sixth sense that tells me who reads my blog and of those people, who wants to talk about it. All I know is that very frequently people will talk to me tangentially about a subject I have recently written on. It could just be complete coincidence; after all, I don’t write about anything highly niche or unusual. Just every day life. It could be that we just happen to have a conversation about sharing the day after I blog about sharing. Entirely possible that hot air in my head is the only connection to my writing.
Or maybe you’re trying to speak to me. Very rarely will I offer my opinions or reasoning unsolicited so if you want them, just ask. But more importantly, I’d love to hear about your life. I don’t have any need to. I all the friends I need and from them I have all the support I need. I don’t need you to do anything for me. But I do consider a pleasure and a privilege to get to know you better, whoever you are, and offer whatever can in the way of support. Tell me why you disagree, what experiences have led you to that point. I will not think any less of you, I promise. In fact, I’d have precious few friends if I required them to share same opinions as me on every issue in life. Namely, zero.
I write about examples from my life, my small but significant successes and my large and even more significant screw-ups without any ulterior motive, but it is my hope that if you want to– and only if you want to– this might help you feel comfortable sharing those moments of your life, with me or with anyone of your choosing.
If we are indeed friends, chances are that at some point, some part of our conversation will make it onto a blog post (without your name). It’s not that I don’t think you can handle my opinion if I say it to you directly; I simply have a strong desire to not be intrusive and so will tend to err on the side of caution, offering slightly more of my views the better I get to know you. If you feel misunderstood and want to correct that, talk to me. If you enjoyed the conversation and want to continue it, talk to me. It’s a really rare and unusual thing for me to take a back seat in life and not offer my evaluation of everyone’s every waking decision and I’m enjoying it.